so_catholic: (pic#8390176)
[personal profile] so_catholic
"Can you doooo..." Danny tucks his chin into the bit of scarf peaking out from his peacoat, bracing against the cold wind as he contemplates his next request. The buttons on his coat are slightly strained due to the extra layers he's got on underneath and as he walks, he wriggles his pocketed hands in a futile attempt to get the clothes to sit more comfortably. It's only fitting, he guesses, that his spiritual unease manifest itself physically too. Right now he ought to be coming home from Mass, not shopping for a neck massager. Every stray gust of wind that threatens to knock him off his feet feels like a call to repent. Blows of judgment.

Not blows. Blows are what got him into this mess.

Dammit, why is he so light.

"I'll give you a hard one," he says, voice muffled until he lifts is head back up, running a tongue over his lips to stop them doing dry. "Brando. You do that?" He looks over at Hedwig, offering a prompt in the unfortunate event that he's just as clueless as Mindy. "The Godfather. Marlon Brando. People think that he's easy but he's not, you gotta, you don't just mumble. He's difficult to get right."

Date: 2014-12-31 05:08 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} 28)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
I'm not quite sure when Danny had decided my ability to shift in and out of accents was a neat parlor trick, but I suppose it's better than when he seems startled by it. "You don't? Are you sure?" Up until this very second, I wasn't even aware that it actually was more than just mumbling that went into it, but apparently I'm wrong.

"Maybe I saw a different movie." Or maybe Danny is just biased.

Date: 2014-12-31 09:52 pm (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} 23)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"Yams?" I echo, with a sidelong glance. How very specific. Why not mashed potatoes? Were there rigorous tests to determine which produced the most authentic sounding Vito Corleone? How odd. "So... mumble, then?"

I knew I was right.

"That was good." It was mediocre at best. "The only thing that would have made it more convincing is if you were petting a small cat," I insist, looking up at the street signs to make sure we are headed in the right direction.

Date: 2015-01-01 01:44 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} I end up black and blue)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"That's not actually a prerequisite. You lived in New York, I'm sure you know that." I've been to New York and heard accents of all sorts, some as thick as tar. If an American accent was a must then half the city would be shipped back to wherever it was they came from.

"No, all I had to do was marry a man. Easy peasy."

Date: 2015-01-01 04:30 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} The stranger's always you)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"They didn't," I state simply. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the nice people at the registry office had the same definition of male as the one Danny had. Penis, male. No penis, not male.

Date: 2015-01-01 06:57 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} The luxuries of the modern age)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"No... it was in Germany." I haven't even told him anything yet and already he sounds so judgmental and disapproving.

"And I didn't know it was just for the visa at the time. I thought it was love," I say with a shrug. Why else would one ask and allow another person to be mutilated if it wasn't for the sake of a chance at being together in a better place? Why would this other person agree to it? Why, then, if not love? Stupidity? Desperation?

I chose to believe it was love.

Date: 2015-01-02 01:22 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: (The whole world starts unscrewin')
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
I glance down at my arm and then over at Danny. It's a strange gesture, but thanks in no small part to my mother, I have plenty of experience when it comes to dealing with the emotionally stunted.

"Now, my second marriage? Him I married just so we could get him a visa," I say, smiling as I bite my bottom lip. It might piss him off, but it was better than him being silent and awkward. Besides, I have a feeling he's going to be pissed off at me by the end of our little outing, anyway. Why not ease him into it?

"Just another block or two, I think."

Date: 2015-01-02 01:56 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hedwig} He begged me)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"No, murder is a serious crime, and my Yitzhak wouldn't harm a fly." He probably considered smothering me in my sleep on more than one occasion, but chances were I deserved it every single time. He never acted on those impulses, which is really all that matters.

Date: 2015-01-02 06:15 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hedwig} [Yitzhak] Never turning back)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"Yitzhak? No, it's my husband's name, you douche." Although, he'd probably preferred the name Krystal Nachtd now. "You'll know when it's a euphemism. You haven't had much trouble picking up on them in the weeks that we've known each other." Unless he was just keeping silent about all of the ones that have gone over his head until now.

Date: 2015-01-02 07:11 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} No cosmic lover preassigned)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"Well there weren't any signed divorce papers waiting for me in that envelope when I first arrived." He should know, he was the one who took me to the station in order to retrieve that envelope.

"Are you going to sound shocked about everything that comes out of my mouth? Isn't it exhausting?"

Date: 2015-01-02 09:25 pm (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} 38)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"I'll works on it and make sure it's up to snuff before letting you hear it," I promise, somewhat distractedly as I mind the addresses to make sure we don't miss our building. And soon enough...

"Ah. Here we are," I announce, grabbing Danny by the sleeve of his jacket so he comes to a stop. It doesn't look like anything particularly exciting on the outside, and the fact that the shop is called Whiplash just makes it all the more tragic. And hilarious. Of course 'neck massagers' would be sold at a place with a name like this. To a sheltered, narrow-minded medical professional, what is whiplash but an injury to the neck? It's like kismet. Or pretty fucking close.

Stepping forward, I pull the door open, turning an expectant gaze on him. He could step inside and barrel right back out again in horror in a matter of seconds, so I'm mindful to keep completely clear of the doorway.

Date: 2015-01-03 12:22 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} 35)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"No, Danny, I'm probably one of the few people in all your eighty-seven years," because that's truly how old he came across some of the time, "to be completely honest with you," I insist, scanning the area until I find what it is I'm looking for and grab for it.

"See?" I say, holding up the package which contains a near identical product to the one Danny had been using for stress relief just yesterday. "I said we would find it here, did I not? It's a vibrator, sweetheart, and the fact that a man your age doesn't know that just speaks volumes on the great disservice nearly everyone in your life has done you."

Date: 2015-01-03 02:03 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} 43)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"Are you going to have a heart attack? They sell vibrators, not defibrillators and I'm willing to bet you're the only doctor in this place. So don't," I say, as if asking politely is enough to stave one off.

"Breathe, Danny. It's not that bad." Or it isn't as long as he ignores the fact that he apparently saw his mother's sex toy as a child and not only stole, but also rubbed the one belonging to his 'co-worker' on himself. Not too bad at all... I mean, I've overcome worse.

Date: 2015-01-03 04:34 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} The stranger's always you)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"Calm down. You're okay," I tell him, rubbing his shoulder. Maybe he doesn't feel completely okay at the moment, but he'll come out the other end of it just fine, and much less naive than he was going in. Less naive than any grown man has any right to be.

Date: 2015-01-03 05:37 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} They cut me up into parts)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"Both you and I know I've done much worse than this," I remind him, pulling my hand away if it really bothers him enough to go out of his way to point it out. "Everyone who turns up married should just remain chaste until they die or their significant others show up and they're reunited in wedded bliss?"

Date: 2015-01-03 06:02 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} I gave a piece to my mother)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"I told you it wasn't a neck massager. And I was mad at you for thinking I needed your charity, even if you were only trying to help in the best way you knew how. This was my way of helping you in the best way I knew how." Even if he didn't see it that way. And if I was entertained in the process, that was purely a bonus.

"You're standing in the middle of a sex shop and still feel the need to whisper about a vibrator. That right there is a perfect example of one of many reasons you're standing in a sex shop." He has no one but his own uptight self to blame, really.

Date: 2015-01-03 06:47 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} 19)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"I'm not trying to help you by expanding your sexual horizons, you moron." How the fuck would a new found appreciation for BDSM benefit me?

It wouldn't.

"After you," I say with a sweeping gesture toward the door, stepping out of his way. "I hope Mindy's put a listing for your stupid pot up on the city's equivalent of craigslist."

Date: 2015-01-03 07:21 am (UTC)
beautifulandnew: ({Hansel} 38)
From: [personal profile] beautifulandnew
"If I have to explain it then it obviously isn't working, is it?" Obviously.

I fling the vibrator I still have in hand onto the nearest shelf and move toward the exit. How is it I managed to befriend the one person in the city with the ability to make a trip to a sex shop feel like a chore?


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Dr Danny Castellano

July 2015


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